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Big things going on at Man-Cub Mamas… Both Mama R and I are pregnant with baby boys! This is Mama R’s 2nd boy and my 3rd boy. I think it’s safe to say that we were meant to run a blog about parenting boys. 😉
Mama R’s recent post about having her 2nd boy is an amazing read- I think everyone should read it! It struck home with me, because life has been quite the emotional roller coaster for me ever since I found out my 2nd baby was a boy. To sum things up: I have known since I was pregnant with my 2nd that my family would have a baby girl someday. I truly thought my 2nd boy was a girl- so I was pretty shocked when we found out he was a boy! Not just because of his gender, but for whatever reason, I suffered with prenatal and postpartum anxiety/depression while pregnant and postpartum with my 2nd baby. With medical intervention I did make it out of that strange depression cloud, and it taught me a lot about myself and about motherhood.
It’s been awhile since I have felt any disappointment about my 2nd baby not being a girl. But it took some time for me to admit that I WAS disappointed at first, because doesn’t that make me a horrible mommy to be disappointed about my baby’s gender??? When I finally realized that it does NOT make me a bad mother, I was able to move forward and enjoy my son. He has been such a joy in my life, and I 100% would not trade him for a million girls!
Fast-forward and I still felt strongly (even more strongly than before) that a girl is waiting to join our family. However, I had told myself that before I would feel officially ready to try for a 3rd baby, I would need to feel okay with whatever possibility- 1st girl or 3rd boy. And what do you know? I’m pregnant with my 3rd boy!!!
I feel so happy that I can say I am not disappointed in the slightest. For one thing, I have absolutely loved having 2 boys, so I know that I will love having 3! Secondly, I still feel strongly that a girl will join our family someday. I don’t know when, but I’m glad that whenever she does come that she will have awesome big brothers to welcome her. And third, I have felt a sweet connection with this 3rd little boy inside me, and I have felt that he will be an amazing and needed addition to our family.
So, I want to give some advice to you mamas who are pregnant with your 2nd or 3rd boy in a row. Although it may seem at times that your pregnancy isn’t as exciting as your friends and family members who have girl/boy or boy/girl combo right off the bat… I promise, your pregnancy is just as special! Don’t let anyone make you feel that your new baby boy is anything but unique, perfect, and exactly what he needs to be. Oh- and don’t let anyone tell you that boys don’t require as much equipment, because boys can be well-dressed too!
Here is what I suggest to help you make this pregnancy just as special as your first one:
- Get new baby clothes
Even though you won’t need a whole new baby wardrobe, it is still fun to get each baby his own clothes. Each baby has a different personality; styles change; and if your babies aren’t born at the same time of year, the seasons may not line up. (For example, if your first baby was born in the winter and your next baby is due in the summer, you’re going to need some newborn size summer clothes!)
Also, baby clothes DO get well-used! After two babies, a lot of my baby clothes were just not that nice anymore. A lot of the newborn ones are still great, since babies only wear those ones a few times maybe, but 6 months and older… forget about it!
2. Use baby laundry detergent
Have you heard of Dreft? It made my 1st baby’s clothes smell AMAZING! I didn’t use it with my 2nd baby, because I didn’t want to spend the extra money. But I’m totally doing it with my 3rd! It’s so fun to wash and fold all of your baby clothes before baby arrives, and this stuff helps make the clothes seem more baby-ish. I think I only used this detergent for the first few months after my oldest son was born, then I switched to the detergent the rest of my family uses.
3. Create a nursery space
Whether your baby will get his own room or will have a nook in your room or closet, I highly recommend creating a special nursery space. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on this! Most of my baby’s decorations have been framed printables that I’ve found on Pinterest. Since it is not recommended that babies have anything in their cribs, you shouldn’t need to worry about buying a lot of bedding. (I just use simple crib sheets.)
4. If you truly feel like you need a baby shower, share that with someone you trust.
I’ve seen baby showers thrown for women who are pregnant with a gender they’ve already had before. I’ve also heard some women say that they don’t want a shower when they’ve already had the gender they’re expecting. Honestly, it hurt my feelings a tad bit that no one even asked me if I wanted or needed a shower when I was pregnant with my 2nd boy. I didn’t need much, so it was mainly the principle of it that hurt me. I felt like people assumed that since I had already had a boy, I wouldn’t need anything new. (I’ve heard of expecting moms having diaper showers, I think that’s an awesome idea! You always need more diapers!)
If you feel like you need a baby shower, or that having one would help you prepare emotionally for your baby, talk to someone close to you about it. It probably feels a little awkward asking someone to throw you a shower, but if you brought it up to someone that knows you well and won’t judge you, I think many people would be thrilled to throw you one. (It doesn’t have to be big or extravagant!)
5. Have pictures taken in the hospital or take awesome ones yourself.
After your baby is born, get some good pictures! I know some people get a photographer for the labor and/or newborn pictures. Even if you don’t do that ( I never have), get some photos with a good camera while you’re in the hospital, and when your baby is still a newborn.
A friend shared with me some advice for my 3rd boy pregnancy, which has been a huge comfort to me and helped me put things into perspective:
Try to think of this pregnancy as your first time experiencing everything: as much as possible, treat it like it’s your first pregnancy with all the excitement and anticipation! Afterall, this is the first and only time you’ll experience all of it with THIS precious baby!
Man-Cub Mamas 