If Man-Cub D had a LinkedIn Profile


Baby of All Trades
Toddlerville, USA

Current: Child Safety Specialist
Previous: Personal Trainer
Education: Baby State University
Bachelor of Arts in Natural Disasters from Baby State University  (2016-Present)               
Associates Degree in Hiding Important Items from Mama and Dada (2016)
Certificate of Cuteness from Grandma H and Grandma L  (2015)

Sign language

Freelance Child Safety Specialist, November 2015-Present
Visit homes and help parents identify what parts of their house have not yet been childproofed. Specialties include locating electrical outlets, wires, and appliances.

Personal Trainer for Mama R, March 2015-Present
Prepped Mama R for a post-apocalyptic world by conditioning her to wake several times a night. Trained Mama R to respond quickly and effectively to various cries. Helped boost Mama R’s milk supply through frequent feedings.

Contract Quality Control Supervisor, January 2015-Present
Sampled various sizes and types of diapers to assess their absorbency and fit. Identified numerous manufacturing flaws, specifically in the realm of blowouts.

Screaming                  33
Crawling                     20
Biting                         15
Walking                      11
Climbing                     8
Drooling                      7

2 thoughts on “If Man-Cub D had a LinkedIn Profile”

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