I’m slowly learning that my man-cub has a specific set of rules when it comes to eating. Here are a few of my man-cub’s rules:
- Feed me before feeding yourself.
- What you’re eating will always taste better than what I’m eating. Even if we’re eating the same thing.
- Everything must go into my mouth so I can assess whether it is food or not. For the record, tissues and paper are not food. But they are amazing imposters! They get me every time…
- Eating things one at a time is for wimps. Shove four pieces in your mouth at a time and try not to choke.
- All food must be room temperature or slightly warmer. Frozen food is not acceptable.
- If I don’t like it, I’ll spit it out.
- If I’m full, I’ll spit it out. Then I will play with it.
- If you have food in your mouth and in each hand but none on the table, your parents are trying to starve you.
- It’s important to drop food on the floor so you can eat it later. It’s like food storage.
- Eating too much of the same thing is not only unhealthy, it’s boring. Let your parents know this by only taking a few bites of each type of food they provide.
- Screaming is the best way to communicate hunger.